BREAKING NEWS: Jailbreak for Paris Hilton and a Parting Gift to Boot – a New Bracelet!

Posted on June 7th, 2007 in Celebrities, In The News

Paris Hilton Performing Duties Under House Arrest

According to the website TMZ.com, Paris Hilton is being fitted for an ankle bracelet (apparently non-diamond) to enforce her new reassignment to house arrest. Authorities decided to release Hilton from jail due to medical reasons, this according to Los Angeles County Sheriff’s Department spokesperson, Steve Whitmore.

Reporters repeated tried to get more information regarding Paris’ medical condition during a press conference held in front of the jail where she was released early this morning. But spokesperson Whitmore said that due to confidentiality laws he could not discuss even the slightest health-related details. Apparently it did not have anything to do with the sleeping mask her mother was planning to give her to help her get in the mood sleep while in prison.

Paris will be under house confinement in her West Hollywood home for 40 days, where she will only have a 3000-4000 ft. radius of freedom. Her jail cell was 96 square feet so according to the philospeak.com accounting department, that is a measly increase of ~3900%. After the 40 days are up, Whitmore says she will have “fulfilled her debt to society.” Ummm….that sounds about right, LMAO!

Whitmore made it clear that Paris was not released early — she was reassigned, kind of like Milton Waddams move to the storage room in Office Space, only in reverse. She is technically still in custody.

Fortunately for the readers of philospeak.com, we were first on the scene to acquire new images of Paris Hilton under house arrest. Now That’s Hot!

View Available Posters & Pictures of Paris Hilton

Roseanne

Published by philospeak

3 Responses to “BREAKING NEWS: Jailbreak for Paris Hilton and a Parting Gift to Boot – a New Bracelet!”

  1. reasonable robinson Says:

    I’d have sent the celebrity air head to Bagdad for three days to help her connect with reality. Outrageous abuse of privelage and status.

  2. philospeak Says:

    That sounds most reasonable, robinson. I would love to have one of those get out of jail free cards — not that I need one ;)

    Actually, I’ve been grounded by my parents (back in the day) which I’m sure are much worse than anything Paris will experience. Or how about a wooden spoon?

  3. BREAKING: Jailbreak for Paris Hilton! An a New Bracelet to Boot! « Jewelry Blog Says:

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